The Mortal Pancakes
by TwinkleStar35
Summary: What do you get when you cross Jonathan/ Sebastian, evil Clary and Pancake Day? Nothing pretty that for sure!... My Topical Parody for TMI!
1. Chapter 1

Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern was not happy. He was sat on his favourite leather sofa in his apartment, with his now evil sister Clary (thanks to the mortal cup), watching TV, but he wasn't satisfied. When he had imagined an evil Clary, he just thought she would be the same fun, ginger little sister as ever, just more badass and less obsessed with Jace. And she was, when they were doing something awesome like demon slaying or general evilness. However, back at the apartment that still featured burn marks from Good Clary's little tantrum, she was, to put it mildly a complete bitch.

'Jonathan, turn this crap off the TV now' Clary snarled at him, pointing to the screen showing TOWIE while kicking his shin rather painfully. Jonathan, for the first time in his life, did what he was told since he really didn't want another screaming match. He flipped the channel over to Benidorm, but it was in a break so he passed the time by pondering over how he could get Clary to be nicer. Honestly, she was almost more trouble than she was worth, just irritating and slightly-

He was interrupted by the face of a blonde woman on the TV, who announced in a ridiculously over excited voice that pancakes and toppings at the Co- op were half price for pancakes day. 'Get your pancakes ready for 4th March, at a bargain price!' she gushed.

'Wait! Today is May the fourth!' Jonathan exclaimed in an uncharacteristically happy voice. Clary kindly responded to this statement with:

'Who the hell cares, do you even like pancakes?'

'Yes!' replied Jonathan defensively, hurt that his sister did not know this most important fact about him. 'And don't tell me you don't like them, because I saw you scoff them in Taki's just before I spiked your drink with demon blood and kidnapped you...'

'Oh Yeah!' Clary giggled, for once her tone lightening (who doesn't get happy at the thought of pancakes?) 'We should totally go shopping and get some, right?' Sebastian knew that when evil Clary asked for something you didn't actually get a choice and he wanted her to cheer up, so they decided to portal to the co- op to assemble the ingredients.

They arrived shortly in the brightly lit, busy shop and proceeded to scout the space for pancakes. They decided on a packet of ready cooked, reheat able pancakes since both of them hadn't recovered from the last time Clary tried to make an omelette (although she swore she wasn't trying to kill him) and carried on to toppings. Since Pancake Day is an incredibly important date of the calendar, they splashed out on a number of strange and delicious ranges of sauces to try. Golden Syrup, Nutella, Cranberry sauce, cheese spread and baked beans were among the selection. Clary even chucked in a jar of mint sauce ignoring Jonathan's protests that mint sauce belonged on lamb and no other substance on earth.

Finally, when they got back Jonathan heated the pancakes, and the table was littered with various cans and cartons. Clary and Jonathan dined in culinary heaven (if you love pancakes), discovering Nutella and beans in a pancake were best to be avoided but Cream, Golden syrup, cheese and strawberry jam pancakes were actually delicious and should become a Morgenstern delicacy. Clary actually smiled and laughed along with Jonathan, who was becoming happier by the second, but then Clary suggested another flavour of pancake.

'Look, why don't you try this mint sauce in a pancake?' asked Clary whilst leaning forward on the table and chucking the bottle vaguely in Jonathan's direction.

'Ew, I've never tried mint sauce but I'm pretty sure it doesn't go in a pancake, Clary' he complained.

'Come on, I bet it'll be great!' she grinned, batting her eyelashes and smiling innocently.

'Well you go on and have some first' Jonathan said 'and you can test it to see if it tastes okay'.

'Don't be such a wimp' Clary whined, and she slammed another pancake onto his plate then grabbed the mint sauce and squirted it all over the surface.

'Fine' Jonathan sighed, and took a large bite out of the rolled up food, proving he wasn't shying away from the challenge. It tasted horrid. The weird, slimy mint flavour contrasted badly with the rich batter and tasted like toothpaste and damp bread. That wasn't just it though; an extremely painful burning started forming in his throat and stomach while he swallowed it. 'What the-'he gasped, before starting to lose consciousness.

'Ha!' Clary smirked, 'Didn't you know demons are allergic to mint sauce? You stupid boy! I'm in charge now!' she yelled, while watching Jonathan as he slowly choked himself unconscious.

Once he had completely blacked out, she made another Morgenstern delicacy and started plotting her plan to take over the world- by herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**So... Basically this was my FIRST EVER FanFiction! You could probably tell (sorry if you could!) this was just a really quick story that took me about half an hour just to see if I could do it or anything. If anyone at all has any comments, advice or ideas for me I would be SO grateful!**

**Either comment or PM me!**

**Thank you!**

**TwinkleStar35**


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